[This
email was sent
November 23,
2005 - the day
before
Thanksgiving.]
|
Sharon,
|
This is a very difficult
“letter” to write. It
has gone through a
number of iterations,
revisions, edits –
probably not unlike one
of your sermons. I have
“vetted” it with several
others. (Please forgive
me – my intention was
NOT to be “talking
behind your back,” but
the effect of this was
that, and I do
apologize. I wanted to
be absolutely certain I
was doing the right
thing before doing it.)
I also apologize that
this comes, as it does,
the day before
Thanksgiving.
|
Originally, this message
started, “Guin
and I are leaving the
church. Guin hasn’t
been to Sunday service
in many months, and told
me last night that she
doesn’t intend to go
again.” The part about
Guin is still valid, and
the part about me may
still be true as well.
To be fair to you and
the congregation, I must
resign as SPRC chair and
give up my post as
usher, effective
immediately. I cannot
see myself continuing on
after this message as if
nothing had happened,
and the church needs
someone to undertake
those responsibilities.
This is why I decided to
send this now and not
wait until after
Thanksgiving.
|
I struggle with this,
and will continue to
struggle with this. The
message below is long,
and a bit rambling, and
often harshly to the
point. I have some
strong feelings here,
and I have been unable
to engage diplomacy. I
am overly frank and
blunt. Please forgive
me. As you read it you
may not believe this –
but Guin and I both love
you and Al and we
consider you to be
friends. I am going to
start with what I had
written, and shared with
a few others (mostly
those in the men’s
breakfast group), and
then I will end up with
some miscellaneous and
random thoughts. (By
the way, most of those
who did respond to me in
the “vetting process”
said they understood
what I was saying, and
although they would miss
me if I were to leave
the church, they did
understand my position.
Several suggested I stay
and fight for change.
Some said they shared my
concerns, and that they
had also considered
leaving.) I’ve already
slept on this for two
nights.
|
So here’s my original
text, picking up from,
“Guin hasn’t been to
Sunday service in many
months, and told me last
night that she doesn’t
intend to go again”:
|
Frankly,
Sunday’s
sermon
took
me
over
the
top.
(Interestingly,
the
Wall
Street
Journal
ran
an
article
on
the
same
topic
on
Monday.
You
can
read
it
here.)
For
me,
it
is a
very
rare
occasion
that
partisan
politics
should
invade
the
pulpit.
Having
heard
you,
and
Paul,
and
Clair,
and
Grant,
and
Mary
Ann
deliver
sermons
(or
in
Clair’s
case,
send
emails)
parts
of
which
could
have
come
from
MoveOn.org
or
Democrats.org,
I
know
that
left-wing
politics
is
not
going
to
leave
the
Westwood
United
Methodist
Church
pulpit
anytime
soon.
|
When
I
first
came
to
the
church
I
can
remember
the
welcoming
people
and
the
feeling,
much
as
John
Wesley
experienced,
of
my
heart
being
strangely
warmed.
I
had
found
a
good
place,
and
it
was
one
that
I
felt
so
very
comfortable
bringing
my
children
to.
It
was
a
spiritual
and
holy
place,
not
a
political
soapbox.
The
church
has
done
so
many
wonderful
things
for
me
and
my
family
over
the
years;
you
must
know
how
difficult
this
is
for
me.
Believe
me,
please,
I am
not
doing
this
flippantly
or
without
thought.
It
hurts
me
deeply
to
do
this;
I
have
read
and
re-read
this
message
many,
many
times.
I
need
only
recall
how
my
daughter,
in
her
mini-sermon
last
year,
told
everyone
how
I
used
to
wake
her
up
on
Sunday
mornings
to
go
to
church,
and
how
thankful
she
was
that
I
did
that.
We
have
two
wonderful
children,
and
part
of
their
upbringing
was
done
by
the
church;
nothing
could
be
more
important
to a
parent
than
that,
and
we
will
be
eternally
grateful.
To
be
doing
this
–
leaving
the
church
- on
the
eve
of
Advent
when
so
many
are
going
to
church
for
the
second
time
all
year
– is
particularly
poignant
and
ironic.
|
Whereas I
used to look
forward to
Sunday
mornings,
hearing the
word of God,
meeting with
friends,
raising my
children in
a place that
offered so
much…
I now come
only out of
a sense of
“duty.”
And Sharon,
the only
thing that
binds me
now, other
than those
fond
memories of
the past and
monthly
breakfast
meetings
(meetings,
by the way,
that our
clergy don’t
bother to
attend), is
my “duty.”
Guin pointed
out to me
last night
that I
really
cannot be an
effective
leader –
that I
really
cannot
discharge my
“duty” –
when my
heart is not
in it.
After
sleeping on
it, I know
she is right
(as she so
often is).
I do not
lightly come
to this
decision,
but I must.
To do
otherwise
would not be
fair to you
or to the
church or to
me.
|
I find
myself doing
things on
Sundays that
should never
be part of
the Sabbath.
When Steve
says,
“there’s a
lot going on
at Westwood
United
Methodist
Church,” I
think to
myself,
“that’s
nice, but
none of this
ever-so-busy
stuff is for
me.” I
pre-read the
worship
guide to
make certain
I will not
be forced to
recite
leftist
propaganda.
I listen to
sermons half
in a spirit
of worship
and half on
guard for
the next
political
statement.
When that
bit of
liberal
speech comes
(and it
almost
always
does), first
I flinch and
then I begin
to seethe in
anger. My
friends even
tell me they
look at me
when that
point in the
sermon
arrives (all
recognize
it, believe
me) and
notice my
involuntary
reactions,
all of which
derive from
anger. This
is not what
I come to
church for –
I just
cannot take
it any
longer.
|
I
doubt
this
will
have
any
effect
at
all
on
the
church.
Guin
and
I
were
never
“mega
donors.”
We
would
lend
a
hand
now
and
then,
but
we
have
not
camped
out
on
the
church
steps.
Others
who
have
left
the
church
recently
undoubtedly
had
more
of
an
impact
when
they
left
–
far
longer
membership,
much
greater
support;
yet,
even
though
they
did
leave,
nothing
improved.
If
anything,
things
got
worse.
So,
this
isn’t
something
that
will
be
of
concern
to
anyone
at
the
church.
I am
not
kidding
myself
– I
am
just
not
that
important
to
the
overall
scheme
of
things.
|
I have
spoken to
some
(perhaps a
small
minority of
church
members, but
I don’t know
- I have not
taken a
survey) who
think that a
complete
“shake up”
at the
church will
take care of
things. Most
folks are
not ready
for a “shake
up” and will
just say
“yes” to the
status quo –
and perhaps
most are
very happy
with that
status quo,
I don’t
know. I have
come to the
conclusion
that it
really
doesn’t
matter what
the rest of
the
congregation
thinks about
this; we all
must do what
we think is
best, and
for me and
Guin that is
to leave.
The United
Methodist
hierarchy
itself has
moved
politically
far-left,
and it is
very
uncomfortable
to me.
(Guin has
her own
reasons and
I am not
speaking for
her.)
|
You
know, I have
secretly
hoped that
the upcoming
construction
project will
put so much
stress and
strain on
the church
that it will
actually die
- yes, die -
to be
resurrected
upon
completion
of
construction.
In my
dreams, that
resurrected
church would
be
completely
new and
reinvigorated
– a place,
like that
when I first
came, that I
would be
proud to
attend. But
for now it
is only a
magnificent
building in
need of
repair and
refurbishment,
an organ and
glorious
choir, but a
place
without soul
or spirit.
For me, God
has left the
building,
perhaps
never to
return. I
truly doubt
that the
resurrection
I have
dreamed of
will ever
come.
|
Funny,
but
the
last
time
I
felt
like
I
did
that
very
first
time
I
came
to
Westwood
United
Methodist
Church
was
at a
client’s
grandson’s
bar
mitzvah.
The
synagogue
was
packed,
and
the
joy
of
the
people
there
was
overwhelming.
To
experience
the
entire
family’s
worship
of
God
was
truly
magical.
The
warm
feeling
of
everyone
in
that
congregation
was
infectious.
I
thanked
my
client
and
his
family
profusely
and
just
couldn’t
stop
thinking
about
it.
(Matter
of
fact,
as I
write
tears
come
to
my
eyes
even
now.)
I
wrote
my
client
an
email
when
I
got
home,
telling
him
how
lucky
he
and
his
family
are.
(He
probably
thought
I
was
nuts
–
and
he
is a
psychiatrist
by
profession.)
That
one
experience
got
me
to
read
books
like
For
the
Glory
of
God
by
Rodney
Stark,
and
now
Nine
Questions
People
Ask
About
Judaism
by
Dennis
Prager
and
Joseph
Telushkin.
I
have
not
been
so
inspired
at
church
for
quite
some
time
now.
|
Well,
for
now,
I
think
it
is
best
that
I do
resign
as
SPRC
chair
and
usher.
I
have
never
gone
to
another
church
near
my
home,
and
perhaps
I
should
take
the
time
to
explore
other
places
of
worship.
The
California-Pacific
Methodist
Foundation
board
doesn’t
meet
again
until
May,
so I
have
some
time
to
announce
my
departure
(if
necessary).
|
Here
are
some
other
“random
thoughts”
(perhaps
“parting
shots,”
time
will
tell):
|
Part of
me wants to
give credit
to you for
shaking me
up. I heard
from a
couple men
in my
breakfast
group who
told me they
are able to
“dismiss
things” in
church. (In
fact, one of
them
complains
that he has
a hard time
staying
awake.) I
can imagine
how
difficult it
must be for
you to
deliver a
sermon while
somebody is
sleeping, or
knowing that
what you are
saying is
being
dismissed.
Maybe you
were just
throwing out
leftist
propaganda
to see if
some of us
were
actually
listening. I
was, and I
didn’t like
it one bit.
|
SPRC is
a “yes man”
and “yes
woman”
committee.
Nobody on
the
committee
(including
me – I just
stay silent
in the face
of so many
“yes
persons”) is
willing to
say, “It’s
time for a
change.”
Worse, we
are unable
to reduce
staffing.
“Melinda
would be so
good for our
youth, and
Laura is
leaving –
let’s grab
Melinda
before she
gets another
offer.”
“Sharon
faces so
many
personal and
family
issues…
Let’s help
her by
hiring
someone to
make
pastoral
visits.”
“Oh,
wouldn’t it
be nice to
have yet
another
program that
few people
actually
use?” (Does
this sound
like
politics…?)
We all love
you and Al;
we find it
impossibly
difficult
even to
think of
telling you
its time for
a change.
And we fear
the unknown
– if we lose
you, who
will the
Bishop send
us? (The
Bishop
doesn’t
impress me
one bit; I
have little
faith that
the Bishop
has the
ability to
select an
appropriate
person to
send us –
whoever she
sends us
will be a
total “crap
shoot.”) We
have a bunch
of
part-timers
working for
us –
seminary
students
(whose first
responsibility
is their
studies) and
you - a wife
and mother
who has her
hands full
at home. It
is so very
difficult
for us to
tell any of
you that we
need perhaps
two
full-time
people whose
primary
responsibility
and focus is
always us.
|
Do
we
know
why
people
are
coming
to
church
and
what
they
are
most
interested
in
obtaining
by
coming
to
church?
These
things
may
not
be
the
same,
and
they
change
over
time.
For
me
it
is
thus:
|
-
I am
coming
to
church
because
I
promised
to usher
and to
serve on
SPRC.
My wife
no
longer
goes to
church.
My
children
do not
go to
church.
|
-
I am
most
interested
in
learning
what
God
expects
of
me
and
how
I
can
become
a
better
person.
I
want
to
be
strengthened
in
my
faith.
I
want
to
feel
good
about
myself
and
my
community
because
we
are
striving
to
do
the
right
thing.
I
don’t
want
to
hear
partisan
politics
or
political
“talking
points”
from
the
pulpit.
If
that
is
to
happen
(and
it
need
not),
we
should
invite
opponents
to
come
debate
all
sides
of
the
issues,
and
to
do
that
at
some
time
other
than
during
Sunday
worship
services.
While
there
is a
place
for
“doom
and
gloom,”
that
should
be
rare
–
and
it
must
be
completely
accurate.
We
all
want
to
be
uplifted.
We
get
enough
bad
news
in
newscasts
and
newspapers.
We
expect
broadcast
news
to
be
sensational
and
slanted.
We
expect
politicians
to
lie.
We
don’t
expect
those
things
from
our
pastor.
|
-
When
I
first
came
to
the
church
I
was
most
interested
in
raising
my
children
“the
right
way”
and
giving
them
a
strong
religious
base.
|
Are we
hitting the
target? Can
we answer
these
questions
for our own
congregation
or for the
community we
hope to
serve? Are
we “busy,
busy, busy”
doing things
that many of
us could
care less
about?
(Perhaps I’m
wrong and
everyone
else
disagrees
with me,
which makes
it even more
obvious that
I need to
find a new
church
home.) We
come to
worship and
we sleep or
constantly
dismiss what
is being
said.
|
“The
guy
in
the
pulpit
doesn’t
know
what
he’s
talking
about.”
That
observation
is
absolutely
fatal
for
me.
When
you
take
that
pulpit
you
are
God’s
representative.
Jim
Lockwood-Stewart
used
to
start
each
sermon
with,
“May
the
words
of
my
mouth
and
the
meditations
of
my
heart
be
acceptable
in
your
sight,
O
Lord,
our
strength
and
our
redeemer.”
It
was
as
if
God
was
putting
words
in
his
mouth.
We
have
come
to
hear
the
Word
of
God.
That
is
an
awful
(using
the
original
meaning
of
that
word
–
“inspiring
awe”)
responsibility.
Using
that
pulpit
for
secular,
partisan
purposes,
passing
along
demonstrably
erroneous
and
distorted
propaganda,
is
utterly
vile
and
despicable.
It
has
“boiled
my
blood”
many
times.
I do
not
want
to
come
to
church
to
sleep
or
to
dismiss
the
preacher
as
being
an
idiot
or
party-hack.
|
I come
to church to
learn The
Truth, not
to be fed
left-wing
talking
points. I
sit up front
and to the
right so I
can focus on
what is
being said.
I try my
best to pay
attention.
Do you
notice that
most people
stay away
from “my
section”?
Why is that?
Are folks
trying NOT
to listen?
|
I
don’t
feel
good
about
giving
money
to
the
church.
I
feel
far
better
giving
money
to
the
USC
Cancer
Institute,
the
MIT
alumni
fund,
the
Rotary
Foundation,
the
Heritage
Foundation,
the
Salvation
Army,
and
so
many
other
deserving
charities.
I
give
money
to
the
church
to
pay
for
services
rendered
and
for
maintenance
of
the
building.
I
expect
that
a
big
portion
of
the
money
given
to
the
church
will
go
to
apportionments
that
are
spent
by
far-left
fanatics
on
many
causes
that
are
antithetical
to
my
beliefs.
That
may
not
be
the
case,
and
I’ll
admit
I
haven’t
done
any
study
of
this
at
all,
but
I
know
the
Methodist
hierarchy
is
anything
but
conservative
and
I
just
don’t
want
them
spending
my
money.
I
don’t
trust
them
to
do
the
right
thing.
I
admit
I
may
be
wrong,
but
that
is
how
I
feel.
And
as
far
as
the
programs
at
the
church
are
concerned,
I
have
zero
interest
in
most
of
them.
Note
that
I
didn’t
say
they
were
bad
programs
– I
said
I
had
no
interest
in
them.
I
probably
have
no
idea
what
most
of
them
are,
and
nobody
has
piqued
my
interest
in
any
of
them.
My
fault?
Probably.
But
I’m
not
going
to
waste
a
lot
of
time
with
guilt
and
introspection
over
it.
Scattered
for
Service
is a
good
idea
– if
the
church
is
acting
merely
as a
pass-through
pocketbook,
let
us
decide
where
we
what
our
money
to
be
spent.
|
We
are
consumers.
I
know
this
frustrates
you;
you
wish
that
we
all
could
be
lay
leaders
and
that
we
would
be
better
Christians.
We
fail.
We
need
a
leader
to
lead
us.
Someone
needs
to
take
the
helm
and
say,
“Go
this
way!”
We
are
not
capable
of
spontaneous
generation
–
those
fishes
and
loaves
are
not
going
to
appear
magically.
Analogize
to a
business.
You
try
something
that
you
think
the
public
will
“buy,”
and
if
it
fails
you
try
something
else.
|
We
are
a
“commuter
church.”
In
my
humble
opinion,
that
is
not
good.
It
is
far
easier
to
bring
folks
together
when
they
live
close
to
each
other.
Guin
and
I
are
probably
at
the
geographical
fringe.
(We
live
in
the
northeastern
part
of
Santa
Monica.)
|
These
may
be
“off
topic,”
but
here
you
go:
|
-
Tolerance
is good,
but it
is not
good to
be
tolerant
of evil.
|
-
Peace
is
good,
but
there
is
a
time
for
war
and
that
time
is
to
fight
evil.
To
stand
by
and
watch
evil,
when
you
have
the
ability
to
fight
it,
is
slothful,
cowardly,
and
sinful.
|
-
Hate
is
bad,
but
it
is
good
to
hate
evil.
|
-
Love
is good,
but it
is not
good to
love
evil.
|
We
lose
sight
of
these.
There
is
(and
always
has
been)
evil
in
this
world.
You
do
your
best
to
fight
it;
you
don’t
quit
because
things
get
tough.
|
Economics
is
the
study
of
how
scarce
resources
are
allocated.
When
resources
are
scarce,
balancing
the
budget
is
difficult.
It
is
not
helpful
to
condemn
those
who
are
struggling
valiantly
with
this
process,
and
it’s
no
answer
to
pass
the
buck
along
to
future
generations.
|
Sharon,
part
of
me
hopes
you
don’t
read
your
email
until
Friday.
I am
sorry
to
burden
you
with
this
at
this
time.
I
will
be
leaving
the
office
early,
and
will
not
be
back
in
the
office
until
Monday.
May
God
bless
you,
Al,
Rachael,
and
Ben.
|
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