The lights of the Eiffel Tower will dim, as the high priests of the fanatical global warming political movement "dot their tees and cross their eyes" on the Inter-galactic Intergovermental Panel on Climate Change report.

Let's take a guess at their conclusions, shall we?

• The situation is more dire than even we thought!
• It's all the fault of the West, but especially America!
• We're all going to die – aiech!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen: Buy your cave property now, before the price escalates out of reach. Live in a constant, comfortable 62 degrees Fahrenheit, while your neighbors cook their breakfast eggs on their doorsteps, drop dead of skin cancer, and of course bring about their own demise by running their air conditioning, further stressing the power-grid and leading to production of ever-greater levels of carbon dioxide. The only unfairness in it all is that your friends and neighbors will have such a short time to lament their sinful, consumptive lifestyles.

Repeat your penance five times a day as you bow facing the Eiffel Tower, praying from the Inter-galactic Intergovermental Panel on Climate Change report. Your deliverance is assured, although in your cave you may have to build a fire to cook your breakfast egg.

Way back in the 1970s it wasn't global warming that was going to kill us all – it was a new global ice age. At least that was the consensus of the best science of the day, as touted by Time magazine. And what did the world do to respond to this crisis? Why, according to Time magazine, they assembled an Inter-galactic Intergovermental Panel on Climate Change:

"Indeed, it is to gain such knowledge that 38 ships and 13 aircraft, carrying scientists from almost 70 nations, are now assembling in the Atlantic and elsewhere for a massive 100-day study of the effects of the tropical seas and atmosphere on worldwide weather. The study itself is only part of an international scientific effort known acronymically as GARP (for Global Atmospheric Research Program)."

Oh, I get it! It was the exhaust from "38 ships and 13 aircraft, carrying scientists from almost 70 nations" that narrowly averted the impending ice age and saved the world, but due to rounding error in their calculations, they overshot the target and tipped the scales toward global warming. Oh, now it all makes sense!

One of the more disappointing aspects of the global warming hysteria is that so many of the mainline media's reporters and editors seem either intellectually incapable or too lazy to think through the hysteria and hot air packaged by the global warming fund-raising industry and shipped to their desks, and thus never question the credibility of a movement that does a 180 on its fundamental assumptions and research while in full public view.

Also, doesn't it arouse your suspicion when the proponents of one particular side of the science demand that their critics be silenced? That's precisely what some in the global warming priesthood are now calling for: They want the American Meteorological Society to decertify any meteorologists who openly question the science behind global warming. Nice, huh?